One year ago TODAY, I took my last drink.

For years after my divorce, I told myself I was fine. I was the woman who finally had it all together— despite the living hell we were stuck in with family court and high conflict exes, despite the crippling anxiety, despite being labeled/judged/name called for years. Yes, despite all of that - I told myself that I had the career, the beautifully blended family, the carefully curated life that looked just messy enough to be relatable but never out of control. And that’s the thing— that “control” was a lie… and bourbon helped me believe it.

Yesterday was supposed to be routine - a mild inconvenience. Boring, even. Jury duty. Just a nuisance many of us have to check off our to-do list before getting back to our own life.

I would be lying if I said it was just that simple for me … when that daunting inconvenience of a postcard showed up in my mailbox a few weeks ago, I felt my stomach drop. My fingers went cold holding that stiff, official little rectangle. My body knew before my mind even caught up. It wasn’t just about missing work or rearranging my calendar. It was the place. That place. A building just like the one where we fought for our lives with every breath, for years.

According to Google’s AI - Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon characterized by persistent feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy, and a fear of being exposed as a fraud.

Anyone else ever felt ALL of those things?? Fun fact: I wrote an entire capstone on the theory!

Well for me imposter syndrome hasn’t just been a shadow in my life—not just some persistent phenomenon, she has always seemed to be the whole damn storm cloud, suffocating every move I make - following me everywhere I go.

Let’s be real—divorce can turn even the strongest person into a walking dumpster fire of emotions. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re crying into a bottle of wine, drafting a “just one last thing” text to your ex that you absolutely should not send. (Been there, stayed there for a few years.)

Drinking Was My Escape… Until It Wasn’t

I thought drinking took the edge off. Turns out, it was just dulling the one thing I actually needed: clarity.

Divorce is a wild ride, but nothing quite prepares you for the moment when your ex starts doing exactly what they once accused you (or your new spouse) of. The hypocrisy stings, the anger bubbles up, and suddenly, you’re stuck in a loop of “Are you kidding me?” moments.

My husband said, “this is all TOO coincidental to just be a coincidence”! I don’t believe in coincidences mind you. I believe in signs, synchronicities, and the kind of magic that stops you mid-step and makes you pay attention. And during my brand shoot, the universe wasn’t whispering—it was screaming.

Co-parenting is hard. Co-parenting with someone you’re actively trying to heal from? Sometimes, it feels downright impossible.

Every text, every drop-off, every decision becomes a reminder of the pain you’re trying to move past. How do you focus on raising healthy, happy kids when just the sight of your co-parent makes your stomach turn? How do you navigate communication when every word feels like a trigger?

Just in case no one told you…the next chapter is yours to write.

For a long time, I thought divorce was a kind of death. A brutal ending. The last page of a book I had invested everything in, ripped out and tossed aside before I could write the happily ever after I had imagined.

I spent far too long in the bottom of a cage, not truly living my own life, paralyzed by one thing: the fear of judgment. The weight of other people’s perceptions, titles, roles keeping me stuck.

What will they think?
Will they whisper about me?
Will they decide I’m the villain in a story they don’t even know?

I sat with those fears so long I started to wonder if they were right and I was wrong…

Am I terrible person?
Did I walk away too soon?
Am I whore?

Are you thinking of divorce? A parent amid or post-divorce? A step-parent? Dealing with parental alienation? A high-conflict individual? The joys of the family court system? (If you think the family court system is actually filled with joy, this ain't the blog for you my friend!) Have you been searching for a space you can connect with like-minded people free of judgment? A place to feel less alone on this nightmarish rollercoaster you are strapped into... If you are saying yup, yup, oh hell yup to any of the above then THIS is the space for you!

So… I wrote a freaking book. A best-selling book to boot. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would actually get to say that. Throughout this journey I was not tied to “best seller” or “#1” anything. My purpose was to show people that despite the only way out being through, they can find comfort in a peaceful future to look forward to. There is forgiveness to be had, healing to be done, and a glow-up meant to be!